Today I Shaved My Legs

The title says it all. Today, I shaved my legs for the first time in a long time (see: about a week). One of the perks of having this lovely new auto-immune disease is that my leg hair friends don’t come visiting as often as they used to so I don’t have to shave my legs nearly as often as most of my friends. It’s weird though, I won’t get a hankering or feel the need to shave my legs until every few days, oh say 11:30 at night when I can’t sleep, and BING! I must shave my legs right then. It’s as if my life depends on it. But the feeling afterwards? Oh man, it’s better than a drippy ice-cold popsicle on a hot summer day.

When I shave my legs, it’s usually about a thirty minute process from start to finish. This gives me a lot of time to think about EVERYTHING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD (naturally) and tonight was no exception. 

Do you ever wish you could just turn your brain off? Recently I’ve found myself scouring my mind for the on/off switch to my brain. School, life, doctor’s appointments, friends, family, boys (or lack of), post-grad life, internships, Frank (my fish)…it all just seems a little overwhelming at times trying to juggle everything. Last week I was begging for the on/off switch to my brain. It was hands-down, the worst week of my academic career thus far. Not because anything bad happened, but just because I was so busy and I was completely stressed out and overwhelmed and I didn’t know how to handle the week. So I didn’t.  I had pity parties every day. I called my parents crying. I seriously considered dropping out of school EVEN THOUGH I ONLY HAVE TWO WEEKS LEFT BEFORE MY INTERNSHIP and becoming a gypsy (seriously). I think the worst part of last week was when I was walking to class and I was running late, naturally, and I realized that I couldn’t feel my feet anymore.

Yup, you read that right. My body knew that I was walking and so did my mind (subconsciously) but my conscious body, i.e. my feet, had gone to sleep.

In that moment, walking past the Quad Center, sweating, crying, not being able to feel my feet, and quite honestly cursing a little under my breath, I experienced what I will now call a “Peter moment.” In Matthew 14:22-33, we are told about the miracle of Jesus walking on water to his disciples and calming the storm. We also learn about Peter, also known as doubting Peter to some, who boldly asked Jesus to tell him to come to him on the water. In the Bible, it says that Peter stepped out onto the water in trust and confidence in Jesus, but when he saw the roaring wind and the high waves, he became scared and started to sink below the surface because he took his eyes off Jesus. Jesus then immediately reached out his hand and saved Peter and said “You of little faith. Why did you doubt me?” Last week, when my feet went numb as I was walking to class, I started to see the high wind and waves around me. I pictured every worse case scenario that I could.

I took my eyes off Jesus.

However, in a split second, I realized that I was going to make it to class just like Peter made it back into Jesus’ safe arms. Even though I doubted Him for a second, I knew within an instant that He was going to carry me to Spidle Hall (quite literally if need be) to get my butt to class, and that I would feel my feet, and that whatever crazy thing that was going on in my body at that moment was going to pass. Because Jesus wants what is best for me. He is my biggest fan and my number one supporter.

Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” 

I will admit that I was, and still am, a bit ashamed in myself that I doubted Jesus. However, looking back now, I have realized that this situation has only made my faith in Him stronger. Before last week, I didn’t walk to class as often because I was afraid of my feet going numb on me. Now that they have and the world hasn’t stopped spinning on its axis and Jesus still loves me for EXACTLY who I am and He still gets me from point A to point B (on time, might I add), I’m not as afraid to walk a little more to class each day. Had I not experienced my very own Peter moment last week, I might not have fully understood the essential, total reliance of faith and trust in Jesus in every. single. circumstance. of my life. Even those as mundane as walking to class.

Have you ever had a Peter moment?