Nine Years

Today marks nine years since my surgery. Some days it feels like it’s been forever, others it feels like it was just yesterday. I’m starting to forget what it was like being able-bodied, memories of my body now are replacing my body before. I’ve had nine years of leg braces, being left and one handed, and countless doctor’s appointments.

Nine years ago today, I was in surgery for over nine hours. Nine years ago today, we were praying for a miracle in the form of the word “benign.” Nine years ago today, my life changed forever.

I used to pray that God would heal me overnight and then get frustrated when it never happened. It never dawned on me, until recently, that I am healed. Yes, my body is not was it was, but I’m no longer fighting for my life like I was when I had my tumor. If I could go back and change what happened to me, I honestly wouldn’t. These past nine years have had some of the hardest moments of my life but also some of the most rewarding. I’ve learned so much about life in these past nine years that I would’ve missed out on had I not gotten sick. I’ve met so many incredible, strong people that I never would have crossed paths with had I not have gotten sick. In many ways, getting sick saved me.

I’ve become so grateful for the small things, like going on walks, swimming, and even just waking up every morning and going to work. There have been moments throughout this journey where the little joys in my life have been threatened. I’ve relapsed and had to work really hard to get back to where I was, let alone improve my condition. I’ll be honest, does it stink to go shoe shopping with friends and family and just sit back and watch them? Of course it does. It’s heartbreaking. However, in those moments I remind myself that even though I may not being wearing the shoes I would choose, at least I can walk on my own. Plus, no money spent on shoes means more for make-up and purses. Life is all about give and take, right?

Nine years later. I feel stronger, happier, and most importantly I feel blessed.